You Can Blame Trump For This Chaotic Dating Trend

Back in 2018, when my American ex-boyfriend texted me out of the blue, I couldn’t help but joke: “So did you really miss me, or are you looking to get out of the U.S.?”

He joked back: “Well, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to move to Canada right now ;)”

I don’t think I need to remind you that America was a country in crisis back then — a vibe that feels eerily familiar now. Which is probably why more Americans than ever are looking to date Canadians.

According to a recent article in the Toronto Star, since Donald Trump was reelected, more American dating app users have been updating their profiles to say they live in various Canadian cities — just to test the waters (maybe much like my ex-boyfriend was doing during Trump’s first presidency).

The article also notes that MapleMatch — a dating app created after the 2016 election to pair Americans with Canadians that uses the tagline “Find your soulmate north of the drama” — is said to have seen a fresh surge of interest. Over 5,500 new users have joined since November, with 1,000 logging on last Election Day, MapleMatch founder Joe Goldman told The Star.

We all love a good international, against-all-odds love story. But does finding love across the world’s longest undefended border (for now) actually have legs?

Jimmy Lai from Lai & Turner Law Firm might know a thing or two — he’s an immigration attorney based in the U.S. and in a long-distance relationship with someone from Canada.

“‘Can I bring my boyfriend or girlfriend over from the United States?’ I get asked that a lot, and the simple answer is yes, but there are a lot of intricacies and nuances to consider when you’re in a cross-border relationship,” he said.

“As attorneys, we’re trained to say, ‘It depends,’ but in most cases, the answer is yes — genuine love has no borders,” Lai said. “I know firsthand how complex cross-border relationships can be. My wife is a permanent resident of Canada and a full-time student, while I run my law firm in Oklahoma. It takes a lot of coordination — and patience.”

Immigration laws, visa requirements and border protocols can make things tricky. For example, Canadians planning to stay in the U.S. long-term may need to register with U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. Both countries also take steps to prevent immigration fraud, meaning couples have to prove their relationship is real.

“Canada recognizes common-law partners, but the rules are strict,” Lai adds. “A lot of Americans assume dating a Canadian makes things easier, but there’s still plenty of red tape. The biggest hurdle — on both sides of the border — is proving it’s a genuine relationship.”

When it comes to a Canadian and an American making a life together, Lai said, “It’s not easy, but it’s doable with the right plan. You certainly can’t just pack up and start living and working in Canada. You’ll need a work permit or [to] go through a sponsorship process. The paperwork can be extensive, and the wait time can be long. Americans can travel freely to Canada as tourists, so while you might be able to live there temporarily, you won’t be able to work — which is something a lot of people overlook.”

He said one of the biggest misconceptions Americans have is thinking they’ll get special treatment: “Just because you’re [American] doesn’t mean there’s a red carpet waiting for you. You still have to go through the same official channels as anyone else. Especially with current tensions between the countries, it’s important to be realistic.”

So what are the best options? “If you’re already married or considered common-law, then spousal sponsorship is usually the way to go,” Lai said. “If not, the good news is Canadians and Americans can still cross borders fairly easily and spend time together — but it’s always smart to start the process early.”

Lai recommends starting to document everything about your relationship — save screenshots, photos and plane tickets. “Anything that shows your relationship is genuine.”

If you and your significant other are not living together or married and are simply dating, be prepared for what it takes to be in a long-distance relationship. Dating a Canadian might offer some relief or hope that you’re escaping something back home, but being in an LDR isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be, said matchmaker Jaydi Samuels Kuba, who works with a number of Canadian-American couples.

“Maintaining intimacy and trust in any relationship can be challenging, but it’s especially difficult with physical distance at play,” she explains. “Consistent communication is key, whether that means a wake-up text in the morning or a good-night phone call at night, or letting your partner know what your plans are for the day — not out of some preemptive measure to squash jealousy, but to make them feel as comfortable as possible.”

Samuels Kuba also recommends finding ways to make your partner feel heard and seen despite the limitations of some love language expressions: “For example, you can’t spend physical quality time with your partner, but you could curl up in your respective beds and watch the same movie together on Netflix, and talk about it. And you can’t make your partner’s coffee in the morning as an act of service, since you’re not physically there with them, but you could Uber Eats a cup to their doorstep every so often.”

Ultimately, though, she said if your relationship isn’t already built on a foundation of trust and intimacy, “It’s going to be a struggle maintaining that from afar.”

Licensed clinical social worker and sex therapist Chelsea Newton emphasizes the importance of motivation. “It’s crucial to reflect on the why behind your decision to date someone from another country or culture. As the saying goes, ‘He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.’”

If your reasons are meaningful — rooted in genuine connection, mutual growth and shared values — you’re more likely to weather the challenges of distance, bureaucracy and cultural differences.

“However, if your motivations lack depth — like escaping a political climate or avoiding personal issues — you may struggle with the very real complexities that come with a long-distance, cross-cultural relationship,” Newton said.

In other words: Cross-border love may sound romantic, but the reality is… it’s work.

“Long-distance is already tough, and I’ve seen great couples fall apart when you mix that with legal delays, financial strain, and constant uncertainty, big time,” Lai said. “The timeline forces a lot of tough decisions, and I remind my clients not to let the process rush them into things they are not ready for emotionally.”

Communication and understanding each other’s nuances might also be difficult since Canada and the U.S. are inherently different countries.

“Canadians often value modesty and consensus, whereas Americans might lean towards individualism and assertiveness,” Lai said. “Recently, my Canadian client asked me, ‘Why are Americans so mean?’ I shrugged and answered, ‘They are just more direct.’ Which is why Americans think Canadians are so nice, because Canadians are more mindful of others and favor indirectness in their communication style. Understanding and respecting these differences is crucial.”

Newton adds that Canada isn’t just ‘America Lite.’ “What we believe is ‘normal’ in dating (timelines, gender roles, intimacy styles) often gets quietly shaped by our culture. So, cross-border couples need not just romance, but emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness to thrive.”

But if finding a Canadian partner is something you’re genuinely excited about — maybe you like a little “please and thank you” and the occasional “eh” — then it’s not all lost. Samuels Kuba said many of her straight, female clients are pleasantly surprised by Canadian men.

“They’re often seen as more traditionally ‘masculine’ — outdoorsy, good with their hands — without lacking empathy or intelligence,” Samuels Kuba said. “In the U.S., that combo can be harder to find, especially if you’re looking for masculine energy paired with progressive values. Canada’s more socially liberal culture and universal health care can be a draw, too.”

One of her clients who moved to Sudbury, Ontario, even put it more bluntly: “Canadian men are really hot. Like, it’s remarkable how many incredibly hot men live in this little town. It makes perfect sense to me that all the famous Ryans are Canadian.”

While cross-border dating means you might move a little faster through some steps, or encounter some unique challenges, it also brings clarity and commitment early on, which can strengthen the relationship.

“One of the biggest misconceptions is that it’s not worth trying,” Samuels Kuba said. “Some of the strongest couples I know took a chance on love beyond their usual dating pool. With remote work, shifting perspectives after the pandemic, and dating app burnout, more people are open to love across borders — and the rewards can be truly worth it.”