Bella DePaulo, a 71-year-old author and social psychologist, has lived alone her entire adult life.
As the author of books like “Single at Heart: The Power, Freedom, and Heart-Filling Joy of Single Life,” she’s become a bit of an evangelist for solo living. When she hears other women at book talks or at parties discuss how fulfilling it is to live alone, she doesn’t need to be convinced.
“I love the complete freedom to sleep when I want and get up when I want, to eat what I want and when I want, and to find that whatever I put in the refrigerator the night before is still there the next day,” she told HuffPost.
“My place is always exactly as warm or as cool as I want it to be. And the toilet seat is always down,” she joked.
The number of women living alone has grown in DePaulo’s time. In 2022, 15.7% of all households in the United States consisted of a woman living alone, compared to 11.5% in 1970.
She loves it, but she gets it’s not for everyone. There are certainly financial constraints ― in 2025, it’s not uncommon for people well beyond their 20s or college years to live with roommates because of housing costs, especially in cities.
But other women shy away from living alone out of concern for their safety — understandably so. Everyday activities that men often take for granted ― going on a walk in the evening, even in a busy public place, opening your door after a late night out ― can be depressingly dangerous for women.
That said, DePaulo and other women who’ve lived alone say there are ways to heighten your safety at home.
“Don’t let fear ruin what can be a deeply fulfilling experience,” she said. “I’ve been in different neighborhoods in Virginia, Florida, and now in California, and it’s rare for me to feel remotely unsafe. A home of your own can be comfortable, peaceful, and safe, maybe even sacred.”
We recently asked women who live alone to share their best security tips, from their own lived experiences. See what they had to say below.
Introduce yourself and trade phone numbers with your neighbors.
“The biggest tip I can suggest is to get to know your neighbors. Getting to know mine has made me feel so safe. Not only have they become great friends, but they are also extra security when I’m not home. They’re always looking out for me and I do the same for them. It’s really taught me how important community is when living alone.” ― Celeste Polanco, a lifestyle influencer
Catherine Falls Commercial via Getty Images
Be mindful of what you (and even friends who visit) share online.
“As someone who shares moments of my life publicly, I’ve learned that boundaries around what ― and when ― I share are non-negotiable. I don’t share the local things in my neighborhood or any landmarks. I’m very mindful about sharing the view from my windows or anyone that may work in or around my building. These rules are shared with my friends and family when they visit as well. The outside and inside of my buildings are off limits. And I ask them to be mindful of geo-tagging because you never know who is watching.” ― Denise Francis, the founder and CEO of The Self Love Organization INC, a digital wellness platform for Black women
Install a security camera by your door.
“Having a security camera like a Ring gives me so much peace of mind. I can see who’s at my door, and even check in when I’m not home. It’s a simple upgrade that makes a huge difference in feeling safe and aware.” ― Emily Sanchez, the owner of the online plant shop Classy Casita
Get a pet, if you can.
“Nothing is better than coming home to something cute that’s happy you’re home and relies on you.” ― Maia Milas, a writer and photographer
Take self-defense classes.
“Even if you only sit in on a few sessions, know the basics of defending yourself physically and practice the moves to develop muscle memory. In a panic, you hopefully can resort to what you’ve learned, which only comes with practice.” ― Milas
Have a few small habits that make you feel secure.
“For me, that’s double-checking locks on my doors and windows before bed and maybe keeping something for self defense by the door. It’s not about being scared to live alone, it’s about feeling in control of your space and having peace of mind.” ― Sanchez
Have an emergency contact.
“Make sure you have an emergency contact. A reliable one. Someone who is likely to answer the phone when you call or come to the door when you knock. I had a neighbor who I called once to come over and make sure I didn’t fall asleep after I got a concussion. Some things you just can’t do alone, and require immediate assistance.” ― Milas
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