What Is A ‘Communal Narcissist’?

When you imagine a narcissist (or simply reflect on ones you’ve met), you likely think of people who are arrogant and self-aggrandizing about their personal successes and superior skills. They’re overtly entitled, making it clear that they believe they deserve only the best.

But narcissism can also manifest in alternative ways and even in people who do good things for others and for their communities as a whole. In fact, there’s a term for them: communal narcissism.

What exactly is communal narcissism? And how should we identify and interact with communal narcissists we encounter? Below, experts break it down.

“Communal narcissism is a subtype of narcissism in which an individual appears deeply involved in community affairs but lacks genuine care for others,” Hannah Alderete, a licensed mental health counselor and author of “Break Free From Narcissistic Mothers,” told HuffPost. “While they may seem selfless and dedicated to humanitarian efforts, their true motivation is the attention and validation they receive for being seen as a ‘pillar’ of the community.”

Most people associate narcissism with grandiose self-views ― basically people who give off the impression that they think they are the smartest, most talented, most successful, most important or just generally best person in any room. But a communal narcissist might instead focus this grandiosity on their impact on their community. There’s a perception of being the most caring person, the best helper, best neighbor, best problem-solver, etc.

“The idea of communal narcissism comes out of the social psychology literature from a guy named Jochen Gebauer,” said University of Georgia psychology professor and narcissism expert W. Keith Campbell. “It’s sort of a moralistic form of narcissism ― ‘I am the most moral’ ― and it’s not as socially toxic. I think it’s a belief system of moral superiority, a kind of a haughty superiority grounded in what you think of as kindness ― but it’s not really kindness. It’s superiority masquerading as kindness.”

Gebauer’s published writing on communal narcissists note that they are ultimately still motivated by power and esteem, but they satisfy their self-aggrandizing needs through prosocial metrics: “I am the most helpful person I know.” “I am extraordinarily trustworthy.” “I am the best friend someone can have.” “In the future I will be well known for solving the world’s problems.”

“Communal narcissists are very involved in charitable work, nonprofit organizations and volunteer opportunities,” Cole said. “They’re the philanthropists, humanitarians and do-gooders of the world. Although these activities are good, communal narcissists aren’t giving their efforts to these causes for the sake of doing good.”

She added that communal narcissists will get very involved with a specific group or cause, and might appear like a “saint” to the outside world. They’re admired for their good deeds, giving them the affirmation they expect to receive when they devote time and effort to positive causes.

Thus, communal narcissists tend to seek out opportunities to do good that involve an audience to praise them or the option to document and share what they’ve done later.

“Communal narcissism is more covert in nature and centers around the narcissist’s desire to be perceived as a ‘Good Samaritan,’” said Marie-Line Germain, a professor of human resources and leadership at Western Carolina University and author of “Narcissism at Work: Personality Disorders of Corporate Leaders.”

“Examples may include volunteering at a pet shelter or serving food at a pantry for the homeless,” she explained. “While these acts appear altruistic, their underlying motivation is often self-serving ― to be seen as exceptionally kind, generous, or morally superior.”

The energy they expend on others actually feeds their narcissistic ego and need for recognition. Their good deeds contribute to their sense of entitlement and that they deserve the attention and adulation of their communities.

“Communal narcissists tend to be extremely two-faced,” Cole said, adding that they’re often “interpersonally antagonistic and rageful.” This can be challenging for those who must face them in both public and more personal contexts.

“In a legal setting, a communal narcissist may present a curated image as the ‘model parent’ or an upstanding community member, citing volunteer work, religious involvement or public praise. Meanwhile, they may privately sabotage the other parent’s relationship with the child or manipulate the narrative to maintain control,” said Tina Swithin, author of “Divorcing a Narcissist: One Mom’s Battle.”

Lurking beneath the humanitarian facade and public “do-gooder” persona, there’s often a much darker side.

“Behind closed doors, particularly with their own family, they can be emotionally neglectful or even abusive,” Alderete said.

Those who are close with communal narcissists might therefore doubt their own negative experiences.

“The problem with this, when you’re living or dealing with someone who has communal narcissism, is you end up questioning it,” said therapist and “Disarming The Narcissist” author Wendy Behary. “‘It must be me, because they are so well liked, so well loved, out there in the community doing great things.’ But then back at home, you have this person who basically drops the performance mode and can be very entitled, demeaning, demanding, devaluing, defensive.”

She explained that like other kinds of narcissists, communal narcissists exhibit classic traits like low empathy, low emotional support, low connection, denial of behaviors like cheating, lying and betrayal.

“They’re just really good at being able to create this sense of community recognition, and then at home, sort of relaxing into a very antagonistic state,” Behary added.

“The tricky thing about dealing with communal narcissists is that out of all the narcissistic types, they probably have the best reputation,” Cole said. “Because they seek validation for their good deeds, they’re tirelessly investing in creating a selfless, altruistic image to the world.”

If you’re interacting with a communal narcissist at work or in any type of system, she recommended getting everything in writing.

“They will throw you under the bus, steal your ideas, or accuse you of not following through on tasks if they think it will benefit them,” Cole said. “Disengage from gaslighting or triggering conversations. Disengaging can look like using bland responses ― ‘Sure!’ ‘OK, thanks’ or ‘That’s an interesting idea,’ or using only nonverbal communication like nodding, facial expressions, eye contact.”

She recommended focusing on the facts of a conversation and refusing to be distracted with baiting or emotionally triggering statements. Protect your psychological and professional well-being.

“Shift conversations back to the narcissist,” Cole advised. “This is especially important if they start trying to get into your personal life or you can tell they’re fishing for something to use against you. You can do this by complimenting them ― ‘That was a really great idea. You really know how to give an effective presentation’ ― or ask for their feedback on a harmless topic, for instance, ‘How do you manage your to-do list?’”

Alderete noted that many cult leaders fit the mold of communal narcissism, as they use charm and charisma to position themselves as spiritual or moral authorities.

“They may promise enlightenment or personal growth, but ultimately require unquestioning devotion and increasing sacrifices from those around them,” she explained. “However, not all communal narcissists reach this extreme. Even in everyday interactions, it’s essential to keep emotional distance, be mindful of manipulation tactics and take what they say with a grain of salt.”

It’s particularly important to maintain boundaries and distance … while maintaining a watchful eye. Educate yourself about various forms of narcissism and how they manifest.

“Watch for disconnects between public image and private behavior,” Swithin said. “In adversarial settings, they may weaponize their reputation, so protect your truth with documentation and credibility. Highlight inconsistencies using facts, not emotion.”

Avoid being alone together, as this could lead to a situation where it’s their word against yours. Always try to interact in the presence of a trusted friend or even a neutral third party.

“That’s when you have no witnesses and nothing in writing,” Cole said. “And to a narcissist, if you can’t prove it, it didn’t happen. And even if you can prove it, they’ll still deny it, but at least you have a chance that a rational person will believe you.”