Trump’s physician, Navy Capt. Sean Barbabella, praised an “active lifestyle” such as “frequent victories in golf events” as contributing to the president’s well-being.

Colbert offered up a translation.

“His well-being is also due to a cruel, indifferent universe where good, hardworking people are routinely diagnosed with terminal illnesses, but an objectively evil monster who only eats cheeseburgers and fried chicken lives forever. The world is chaos. There is no God, proven by his frequent victories in golf events,” he said.

See more in his Monday night monologue:

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