Sorry, The Emoji-Over-Face Parents Might Be Right About Online Privacy

When you scroll through social media, it’s not uncommon to see proud parents sharing snapshots of their children’s lives. From first steps to messy birthday parties to back-to-school smiles, but lately, a different kind of post is popping up: one where the child’s face is replaced with a well-placed emoji.

These “emoji-over-face” parents are often met with confusion or criticism, accused of being overly cautious or even paranoid. But in a digital age where every post can become permanent, searchable and exploitable, perhaps they’re not just being careful — they’re being smart.

That’s the case for Lauren Flowerday, a branding strategist for authors and a first-time mom. She said she always knew that if she became a mother, she didn’t want to share her child’s face.

“It has been more of a gradual confirmation of a gut decision,” said Flowerday. “And then I had a client in 2022, an influencer with over 200K followers, who took her child’s pictures off her Instagram after a scary situation where her child was approached by a stranger, who was also a follower of their mom’s Instagram.”

She adds that there are some things she can’t control — like daycare login access and pediatrician messaging portals — but she can control showing his face and what personal information is shared by her. So, when it comes to posting pictures of her little one online, she shares photos of his tiny hands or feet, or a perfectly angled shot where just the back of his head is visible or she will put a heart emoji over his face.

“But more recently, I’ve been thinking about not sharing him through pictures at all and even not sharing his name,” added Flowerday. “I just want to make sure his identity is protected as much as possible.”

As with anything, there are risks worth considering when it comes to sharing your child online, explains Meera Khan, PsyD, clinical director and licensed clinical psychologist.

“In this case, it may violate a child’s privacy, expose them unintentionally to malicious individuals, and introduce the presence of others into their social, cognitive, and emotional development,” she said.

While social media outlets like Facebook and Instagram are ubiquitous and have become an integral part of our lives, it’s natural to want to share images of our children on these platforms. However, this also exposes the child to public scrutiny much sooner than they would otherwise experience or be equipped to navigate developmentally.

Protecting children’s faces may also help prevent online predators from identifying children.

“Parents should consider when sharing their children’s information online that someone could access the child’s personally identifiable information,” said Brittany Allen, senior trust & safety architect at Sift. “Details such as your child’s full name, birthdate, address, school, and even photos can be pieced together by cybercriminals to create a complete profile.”

She adds that fraudsters can then use this information to open credit accounts, take out loans, or make purchases in your child’s name, often going undetected for years because children typically do not have active credit reports. This risk has grown in recent years as parents increasingly share information online, making it easier for fraudsters to piece together different bits of information. Additionally, once information is online, it becomes difficult to control where it goes or who has access to it.

As is usually the case, there are two sides to every story.

“And, yes, there are some upsides to sharing your child’s pictures online,” said Joseph Laino, Psy.D., psychologist and assistant director of clinical operations at the Sunset Terrace Family Health Center at NYU Langone. “Social media has made it possible for family and friends to stay connected over time and distance in ways that had never been possible before.”

Sharing images of our children can be a way for us to document their milestones and share them with family and friends who don’t live nearby and can’t participate in their lives in person.

The grandparent who lives across the country, the aunt who is overseas, the best friend who lives in another state — all these people stay connected with us so easily on social media and can remain an active part of our children’s lives as a result.

Social media is relatively new, and psychologists agree that long-term research on how it affects a child’s online identity is limited. However, they say they’ve seen it work both ways.

Khan said she’s noticed that children who had less protection online, or an earlier exposure to the online world, have a higher rate of anxiety symptoms and worry about scrutiny. These kids’ parents often overshare or make their child feel like they need to perform for the camera, or even grow up conscious of cameras around them.

The first generation of these young adults is finding themselves grappling with digital footprints that affect job searches, college admissions, and personal relationships. They’ve had to request content takedowns, confront parents about posts, or even face cyberbullying stemming from old photos or anecdotes.

However, parents who choose not to share their children online often share pictures and updates with loved ones or friends via text messages and subsequently have to work a little harder to stay connected. This creates a more authentic relationship and a relationship that the child feels more connected to.

While there is no way to guarantee online safety, parents can take steps to increase their safety. Allen suggests the following:

• Avoid posting your child’s full name, birthdate, address, school name, or other identifying details.
• Do not share images that reveal location, school uniforms, or personal items that could be used to identify or track your child.
• Set your social media accounts to private and regularly review your friends or followers list. Only share photos with trusted individuals.
• Turn off location services when posting photos to prevent your location from being automatically shared.
• Consider freezing your child’s credit to prevent unauthorized access to their accounts.
• Teach your kids the basics around online safety, especially once they get to the age where they have their own device. Help them know how to look out for scams, and to never provide personally identifiable information to strangers.

“Remember our children rely on us to protect them, and they are too young to consent to sharing their images on social media,” said Laino. “How will our children feel when they grow up, knowing these images are or were out there? And once the images are on the internet, it can be difficult to control what happens with them. If we, as parents, choose to share, we should do so responsibly.”