Is The ‘Reverse Bucket List’ The Key To Happiness?

You’re likely familiar with the concept of a bucket list ― taking inventory of all the experiences, milestones or accomplishments you hope to achieve in your lifetime. But have you heard of a “reverse bucket list”?

This practice is less known than the traditional version of the list, but it has the potential to transform your mindset and boost your happiness and motivation.

So what exactly is a reverse bucket list? And what’s the best way to make it part of your life? Below, experts break down the benefits, potential downsides and what else you should know.

“A reverse bucket list is essentially a mindfulness exercise that involves deep reflection on past accomplishments and ’wins,” psychotherapist Omar Torres told HuffPost. “This list can include professional and personal accomplishments like getting that promotion and making that new friend.”

In contrast to a traditional bucket list, the idea is to appreciate all you’ve achieved in your life so far, rather than fixate on the things you haven’t done but hope to accomplish before you die.

“So many of us have ‘success amnesia’ ― a term I use to describe why we are always on to the next comparisons, only feeling as good as our next project,” said Dr. Sue Varma, a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at New York University Grossman School of Medicine and author of “Practical Optimism: The Art, Science, and Practice of Exceptional Well-Being.”

“If you don’t have kids, but just got married, it’s, ‘When are you having kids?’ Or have one kid, it’s, ‘When is the second one coming along?’” she said. “I spent years researching and writing my book, and people quickly asked when was the next one coming along.”

With that kind of external pressure, it’s only natural we would forget to fully appreciate and process the wonderful things we’ve done because we’re so focused on the next milestone.

“The reverse bucket list concept forces us to look at our life through a lens of gratitude and list the moments, experiences and achievements that bring us joy and fulfillment,” said licensed marriage and family therapist Alexandria Tillard-Gates. “It’s a tool I often use with my clients to help them to manage their anxiety about the future or regret about the past.”

“A reverse bucket list can help people develop gratitude for what they have experienced and overcome,” said licensed marriage and family therapist Becky Stuempfig. “It can help people slow down their thought process and avoid feeling attached to end results and instead appreciate the growth experienced while accomplishing their goals. It can also help people simply stop to celebrate past successes, both big and small, which can create a sense of fulfillment and life meaning.”

Regularly practicing gratitude with exercises like a reverse bucket list can help people remember to feel grateful and savor good things in the present moment. This kind of list also offers an immediate mood booster without needing to expend much effort.

“Getting what you want takes time, but being content with what you’ve got is instant, and it doesn’t cost you anything,” said Ken Honda, a happiness expert and author of “Happy Money: The Japanese Art of Making Peace With Your Money.” “Instead of looking outward for happiness by buying things or traveling elsewhere, you can find your own happiness where you are now and see how far you’ve come. It brings you joy without doing anything.”

The reverse bucket list allows you to feel the success of your actual accomplishments without comparing yourself to others or fixating on disappointments, what you have not yet done or feel you “should” do in the future.

“Benefits can include dopamine release, feelings of control, courage and confidence, all of which bring satisfaction,” said life coach and “Behaving Bravely” author Anita Kanti.

Focusing on your wins can reframe your mindset to be more positive overall.

“It is common to suffer from a ‘negative mental filter,’ where you magnify your past mistakes and shortcomings and attribute any accomplishments to luck or chance,” said Caitlyn Oscarson, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “This mindset can often fuel anxiety and burnout ― you are working hard but never feeling good enough and always focused on what’s next. By stopping and really building awareness around what you have already done, you are likely to find that you are more motivated and hopeful.”

This reverse bucket list also helps cultivate an appreciation for the hardships and other obstacles you’ve persevered through.

“It can help one focus on personal growth and factors of resilience, reinforcing one’s ability to face future challenges,” said clinical psychologist Zainab Delawalla.

Anchoring yourself in your history of personal progress can improve emotional regulation as well. And it helps you to recognize your strengths.

“A reverse bucket list can boost self confidence and serve as a reminder that you already embody the traits needed to achieve your future goals,” Stuempfig said.

Furthermore, you can gain awareness of what actually matters to you in life and the types of goals you truly want to pursue.

“It’s common to get so caught up in comparison with others that we forget what is most important to us,” Oscarson said. “A reverse bucket list helps put into perspective the things that contribute most to our happiness.”

“One possible downside of a reverse bucket list is if someone tends to discount their strengths and attributes their accomplishments to something or someone else,” Stuempfig said. “An individual who is already quite critical of themselves may have difficulty coming up with accomplishments on their own, which could lead to further negative thinking.”

For those who fall into this category, it might be more helpful to work on their reverse bucket list with a trained mental health professional who can offer prompts and encouragement.

“It can be a difficult exercise for those with a history of unresolved trauma, as looking back may bring up painful memories or lead to negative comparisons with others,” Delawalla said.

Another issue is the temptation to tie your sense of success and self-worth too closely to the contents of the list and even using it to shame yourself in times when you aren’t accomplishing as much as in the past.

“If we become too rigid about how we view the list ― as if it has to contain every single accomplishment or you’re doing it wrong ― that can be a downside,” said licensed marriage and family therapist Nicole Raines. “Being able to be intentional and noticing if it’s contributing to stress instead of helping to manage it is a key.”

Additionally, there’s the potential concern that the reverse bucket list could make people feel overly complacent and unmotivated to pursue further goals.

“If you are too happy being in the present moment, you can convince yourself not to get out of your house and meet new people, do new things or create your life,” Honda said. “It’s possible to stagnate. Finding gratitude only in the past can cause you to think small, not fulfilling your full potential, and not pushing yourself to reach higher. You might end up missing out on something fun that you could have enjoyed if you took more risks.”

That’s why he thinks a reverse bucket list should accompany a regular bucket list of goals for the future.

“Happiness is also derived from learning and growing through conflict, and change,” Kanti said. “If we fear moving forward we miss out on the benefits of navigating life with a growth mindset.”

Ultimately, the exercise is not right for everyone at all times.

“I would probably not recommend a reverse bucket list to someone going through a time of intense crisis or stress,” Oscarson said. “While it can be helpful to focus on things like gratitude, if forced, [it] can feel really invalidating and dismissive.”

Try to resist the urge to view the exercise as a cure-all that will help you avoid addressing deeper, more uncomfortable issues.

“This isn’t a magic bullet, and this tool certainly cannot solve very real and very serious systemic issues like racism and poverty,” Torres said. “Use this with the understanding that this isn’t magic or instant. It’s a practice with limitations depending on the circumstances. But it doesn’t hurt to try it out!”

“To get started with your reverse bucket list, jump right in with brainstorming,” Oscarson advised. “Think of a few categories like career, family, travel and hobbies, and then list everything that comes to mind.”

Ask yourself which “wins” you’re most proud of. Stuempfig recommended thinking about specific achievements, obstacles you overcame, how you overcame them and the strengths or skills you used.

“Consider accomplishments from across the span of your life, including childhood,” she said. “I recommend creating an initial list and then adding to it periodically, either each month or every quarter.”

Delawalla suggested using prompts like “a relationship I am proud of,” “a place I’ve traveled that’s left a mark on me,” “an act of kindness I gave or received” and “a time I stepped of my comfort zone.”

“Not every item on the list needs to seem ‘impressive’ to others,” she emphasized. “The true benefit from this exercise comes from identifying personally meaningful experiences.”

Your reverse bucket list items can range from big things like starting a business, taking a dream vacation or publishing a book to smaller accomplishments like reading more books, learning phrases in different languages or picking up a new musical instrument.

“Ask your loved ones what accomplishments stick out to them,” Oscarson said. “It is likely that they will think of things you have overlooked. You can also look back through photos or social media to remind yourself of your high points. Certainly note your achievements, but don’t forget fun times and personal milestones. The more details and variety in your list, the richer and more meaningful it will be.”

Crucially, don’t be critical of yourself or your reverse bucket list.

“You may find yourself wishing that you’ve done a little more in certain bucket list categories,” Oscarson said. “It also may be tempting to start thinking of new goals and desires as you list out your accomplishments. But hold off on judgment and making new goals. That can come later.”

The goal is to pause and focus on what you’ve already accomplished to inform what you want in the future.

“If you are feeling overwhelmed when thinking about all the things you desire to accomplish in your future, don’t abandon your goals,” Tillard-Gates said. “Just take a moment to gain some perspective. Complete a reverse bucket list and recenter by reflecting in the moment on the things you are proud of, the moments that brought you joy and the relationships that matter.