“Rust” director Joel Souza says he couldn’t have imagined anyone else completing the Western movie after the on-set accident that killed cinematographer Halyna Hutchins when Alec Baldwin‘s gun accidentally discharged, also injuring Souza. Three and a half years later, the movie is finally opening in theaters Friday.

Souza told the Guardian that when he first considered finishing the film, “I’d been repelled by the thought of going back, but now it started to appeal. And I couldn’t live with the idea of someone else doing it.” But Hutchins’ family wanted to honor her by having the film with her final work completed, so he agreed to complete the Western.

It wasn’t easy returning to the set, Souza said: “I was a mess going in and a mess coming out. The crew carried me through. My family carried me through. Emotionally, I was all over the map.”

When it comes to events that led up to the shooting, “Bad decision after bad decision was made,” Souza says, adding, “I wish I never wrote the damn movie.”

Souza also told the Guardian he hasn’t watched “The Baldwins,” the recent reality show about Baldwin and his family that documented the star amid his involuntary manslaughter trial. “I think I was busy hitting myself in the face with a frying pan that night,” he says. (The case ended with a motion to dismiss.)

The production of “Rust” was finished with cinematographer Bianca Cline, but Hutchins was honored by appearing second to Souza in the credits, which is an unusual placement for a director of photography. Souza had insisted on a female cinematographer all along after he was told “‘Women can’t shoot Westerns.’ And I thought, ‘Fuck you. I’m going to stick that up your ass and only look at women.’”

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